Secret Pooch Stash to Soothe Brexit Talks

Secret Pooch Stash to Soothe Brexit Talks

Posted on Posted in News

After delivering Theresa May’s historical Article 50 letter on Wednesday, triggering the process of the United Kingdom’s withdrawal from the EU; and with the pledge from Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon to press ahead with a new independence referendum for Scotland; it has emerged that some tension has arisen in the Central Lobby between different parliamentary factions as to how to approach the coming weeks and months of deliberation.

It has further been revealed that in anticipation of heated talks between members of the cabinet and the party at large, Brexit secretary David Davis has called in special supplies to appease tensions. Early this morning a number of distinct vans were noted entering the supply entrance to the Houses of Parliament and further investigation has revealed that the delivery consisted of Pooch & Mutt Calm & Relaxed food bags.

When asked for comment, Davis noted that Calm & Relaxed is noted for its soothing qualities: “Naturally we are expecting an intense period of negotiation regarding Brexit and expect some tempers to flare and stresses to become more common. I felt that it was a prudent stratagem to employ a secret weapon to alleviate these issues, and Pooch & Mutt Calm & Relaxed foods and treats came particularly recommended.”

Nicola Sturgeon has also expressed an interest in obtaining Calm & Relaxed for the Scottish parliament.

Further comment is expected in the coming days as to whether this gambit has been successful and talks can proceed in a more sedate fashion.